So there I was bent over the couch, looking out the window, praying that no one was watching. She slipped my panties down just far enough to expose my anus. I could feel her take some lube and using a finger, she slipped it into my hole and spread it around. Then I could see her applying lube to the strap-on. Then she is pulling my ass cheeks apart and I can feel the tip of the cock at my hole. This time she was not so gentle and I did not have the benefit of a vibrator to get me ready. I gasped and winced with a little pain and she shoved almost half of the cock into me. I tried to tell her to slow down but she told me to shut up.I was a little scared at this point and still worried someone was going to see. She took hold of my hips and started to thrust a little faster. She kept saying things like, “so this is what you like hey?” and “I can’t believe that all this time I have being going out with and living with a little sissy boy!” I was desperately trying to tell her that it had. You’ve spent your entire life searching for wisdom. You’ve studied religion, magick, psychology, all of it. You killed your belief in god long before you ever got sick. When you faced that darkness you knew you were the only one there and that you couldn’t answer your own prayer.”Me: “Wait a minute, You’re saying I’m mad at myself?”Friend: “Yes.”I felt the truth of his words and it was like he had run me through with a sword. I was speechless. It took me a couple of days to process what he had told me. He was in fact, correct. In my heart, I had killed God. Nobody is home or on the throne.It’s a liberating, yet lonely thought. All my life, I have been told of a loving Father which is an image I clung to as I never had one. The Christian faith is burned deep into my soul/mind and even though I have no “faith” I still find comfort in it’s familiarity. I’m also Heathen and find comfort in the sagas of my ancestors and the images of Freyja, sweet Sunna, and Hel. The Disir I adore. What’s.
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